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Posted 31/3/2022

I wanted to write this feedback to encourage anyone who is having doubts about making the first contact with Thom to take that first initial step.....I know I read the feedback page in great length before contacting him as I was not really sure ‘what went on’ in therapy...

I never thought I “qualified” for therapy as I would not say I had one big issue, just lots of small things & events such as relationship breakdowns & childhood issues that had mounted up over the years into what I can only describe as an impossible knotted almost football sized lump inside me that I was incapable of breaking down. I just had to carry it around and this imaginary growth was getting bigger and bigger and weighing me down. It stopped my mind from thinking in a rational manner and everyday life was just becoming more and more difficult. I was worried my composure mask was going to slip at work or in my social circle and that everyone would then know I had mental health issues and I would be labelled as the ‘unstable one’ (that’s how I felt inside).

21 months ago I knocked on Thom’s door after the suicide of a friend which was for me the final straw that led me to seek professional help – for years I had battled on and off with a rollercoaster like depression - some ups, but more downs, trying to hide and control it with medication and self help books but this was the tipping point for me. Something that I felt was about to tip me over the edge and that I could not deal with alone and by myself. 

I always thought therapy was for people with ‘real’ deep rooted issues such as abuse and I almost felt I should not be ‘wasting’ Thom’s time with what I thought must appear as trivial issues to a trained professional. How wrong I was! Although I felt very vulnerable and exposed to begin with I felt at instant ease with Thom. He has a very natural way about him and for me the most important factor was that he does not have a white coat persona, he is just himself. 

A very down to earth, gentle, kind and deeply caring individual who has an immense passion about his job combined with being the ultimate professional.

He was to begin with a total stranger who I had to learn to trust before I began to pour my heart and soul out to. Some of the stuff that came from inside me surprised me to the core, I had no idea that I had so much stored up inside me and Thom helped me to keep on challenging myself in my own time and at my own speed to keep pouring out all that I had felt was trapped deep inside.

Some weeks we would have a very intense and emotional session and I would leave with tear stained eyes feeling emotionally and mentally drained. Other weeks he would just know that I was fragile and not in the right state of mind to look any deeper and just deal with what was on the surface.

Not all the sessions are deep and dark, many weeks we would share a good giggle and he does have a wicked sense of humour!

He never made judgement, he just listened supported and encouraged me. Those first few months were hard, but something deep within motivated me to return, week after week. I wanted to find out about myself, what had made me as I was, and to look at where I might be going wrong and how I could make things better.

We talked about every aspect of my life and he listened carefully, asking pertinent questions that usually gave me the answers I needed in my own replies.

He has helped me to rationalise thought processes, to step outside of the thinking box and he has introduced me to boundaries, which I have been able to understand and implement in my life and this has made profound changes.

Almost 2 years on I am a much more confident and self assured person who has regained my sparkle and lust for life. Many friends have commented on the amazing change. heartfelt thanks for everything you have helped me achieve, your belief in me, your encouragement and your dedication to help me succeed. This week we have started to talk about endings. In one way it is going to feel a great loss of a strong built bond but on the flip side it makes me feel proud that I am now armed with the knowledge to be able to cope with life’s up’s and down’s on my own.

We have use many analogies in our sessions and all I can say is l have felt like a butterfly with a badly broken wing after trying to force myself back into my cocoon. You have helped me out of this deep dark space, to mend my wing and take flight again! Soaring higher than ever before!